Strange Messages

Many of you will remember that I had a female cardinal smash her face into my window over and over again. I finally realized it was a message to me to stop trying so hard to change a situation over which I had no control. I did get the message and I did stop doing that one crazy thing.

During the past several months I have been saying aloud to friends that I needed to stop working for awhile. I knew that I needed a full time out to heal emotionally from the past several years. And still, through a sense of duty, I continued to do things that I thought I needed to do. I had many reasons that I could articulate for why I had to keep doing things I did not want to do. My life was a daily struggle because it was filled with things I had to do and nothing else because I was too worn out to do anything more than the have to list.

A couple of weeks ago I felt faint. I tried to shake it off, but I still felt faint. I decided to walk into the bedroom to let me husband know that I needed help. I never made it. I crashed my face into a table on the way. I was literally doing what the cardinal had done a few months ago. I had to go to the ER, have 12 stitches in my face, have short term memory loss and generally felt like I had been in a car accident. All of my friends asked kindly why did I think I needed to come to a full stop?

Although I really did not want to look closely at myself, I also did not feel safe ignoring the latest message. I had to honestly assess the fact that I was continuing to do things I did not want to do. I was being overly responsible to everyone but myself. The Universe finally stopped me in my tracks. And I got the message.

I wish I would have listened earlier to all of the zillions of internal messages that told me to stop doing what I was doing. I simply did not seem to be able to stop. This is not a new issue for me, in fact, I believe it is what I came to learn in this life. I hope that this latest message was big enough for me to truly get it and follow my inner guidance. Just so you know, there is absolutely no lasting consequence to my extraordinary accident other than my visceral memory of being smacked in the face with a message.

Now that I am listening to my inner voice, I am enjoying my life immensely. I am taking naps, reading fiction and visiting with friends. I am loving the fall, looking forward to the holidays and cooking. I am simply being and only doing what will bring me peace or joy. I noticed that this month’s Oprah magazine is all about this concept. If you know in your heart that this message is for you, skip the traumatic experience and just stop. Listen to your own inner guidance. It won’t steer you wrong.