Listening to Our Divine Messages –Personal Growth

Many of you know that I have been fighting with Balboa Press to get my book printed and back online with Barnes and Noble and the wholesaler Ingram. I have felt like I was banging my head against a wall every time I contacted them. Each time virtually nothing changed and after a day or two I would feel the need to try again. Every subsequent effort was more forceful and I felt much more agitated when I got nowhere. I was angry, frustrated, confused and ever more determined that I would try again.

While this was going on, there was a female cardinal that started running into the window beside my bed. She would sit on a branch about 2 feet away from my window and then just fly herself directly into my window. Bang, silence… Two minutes later I would hear bang, silence… Two minutes later I would hear bang, silence… I kept thinking she is going to completely knock herself out! So finally I opened the window so she could not get the same reflection. Two minutes later, bang, silence–on a window that was 4 feet away.

At first I felt so sorry for the bird and was trying to figure out how I could help. But no matter what I did to discourage her from flying into the window, she would stubbornly insist on flying into another window or the sliding glass door. This went on for over a week and I kept expecting to find a dead bird. One morning I awakened and found that I was furious with the ” stupid” bird and I found myself saying immediately upon waking, why won’t you simply stop banging your head against the windows?!!!

Then I was overwhelmed with the shocking awareness that the bird was demonstrating what I had been doing every day myself. I was literally banging my head energetically against the Balboa Press walls and was getting nowhere. Why wouldn’t I stop? It was such a shocking revelation for me. I looked at everything that had been happening in a completely new light. I thanked the bird for showing me so clearly what I needed to see, and owned up to how stubborn I had been in not seeing my own behavior.

You may not be surprised to know that the cardinal never flew into my window again. Her Divine message had finally been received. I stopped banging against the wall with Balboa, began meditating on what had been happening, and things started moving in a positive direction at Balboa. I can be a very slow learner. I am glad the cardinal lived long enough for me to get her precious message.