My father recently died at the age of 90 having lived an amazingly adventurous life. We were very very close and it is difficult to let him go, even knowing that his body had been keeping him from exploring in the ways that he loves to do.
What I have realized as I walked through this transition, is the value of sharing stories about this great man. Each new story just brings a joy to my heart and old ones are like a balm, soothing my aching heart. I find I have very little energy, need tons of sleep and my mind is not working like normal. I know I have so many tasks that need to be done but I simply can’t focus right now. All I can easily do is share stories of my dad, cry and take long naps. And I think this is ok for now. I trust that soon I will be able to take back my responsibilities and rise to each occasion.
The flowers we have received bring an instantaneous feeling of being connected to someone in the world–this world that I need to stay in–that makes me feel safer and thought of at this time of deep grief. I appreciate them in a way I would not have ever imagined. In the same way each card is another connection to this world, holding me close to my life, and reminding me of people who are still here, waiting patiently for me to return to my life, once I have spent these few days living in the past. Gentleness and kindness are my friends.
If you too are grieving the loss of someone precious to you or even unknown but killed in a harsh way, please take the time to rest, be gentle with yourself, and allow love and kindness to come to you. Wrap yourself up in the love of your family and friends. Allow yourself to take some time to process these feelings. Trust that you too will find your way out of the cocoon at just the right time.
