Everyone I know is going through a roller coaster ride of emotions these days. And it seems the first thing we want to do is label each experience as good or bad. The enlightened beings among us want us to learn not to tell a story about each thing that happens but rather to simply experience it and move on to the next experience. In doing that we do not hold on to the experience once it has happened, and the emotions quickly pass through us. It is the mental retelling of the story that leads to additional suffering.
What I have learned over and over again recently is that there is a gift in every experience and that I am having the experience in order to learn something I want to learn. I do not say that I want to learn the lesson in the exact way it is presented sometimes, but in the end I know that I have been offered the gift of learning something that brings me more freedom.
My father who has dementia demonstrates for me on a daily basis that he suffers less because he can’t remember to tell his story from moment to moment. Even if he is unhappy at a point in time, he is not unhappy in the next moment and honestly can’t remember when he was unhappy. I on the other hand may hold on to his moment of unhappiness for several days. The Universe just keeps on showing me that I have not let go of the past, but my father has. Day after day, I am offered an opportunity to learn this lesson and if I ever do fully learn this lesson, I will be free.
Byron Katie speaks of these lessons in her book A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are. I highly recommend this book if you are finding yourself retelling your story about how hard things are right now and need some guidance in detaching from the roller coaster ride–or perhaps enjoying both the ups and the downs.
